Monday, February 14, 2005

Wimp/Wench Woman Writes the Blarney Bytes

I am writing today to clear my conscience, to fess up, to be more real. And to share what I was thinking about last week when I was feeling totally lousy. I was thinking about how awful it was that I could not pick up a pen or type, read e-mail or blogs, the best I could do was put one foot in front of the other and try not to complain. When I was under twenty I think I tried to please everyone, after I turned 40 unfortunately my thoughts turned to please only my self. Maybe that is aging or growth, but I fear it stems from sickness. I no longer care to try to fit in, to make others happy… it sounds so harsh but really that is what depression and a CNS central nervous system disease can do to a human being.

I was sick as *#@! last week and I was not at all happy about it. My entire community could hear that. And guess what, I don’t care. I have hearing loss in my left ear. I can hear things like a fire siren when I am feeling well but when my head fills with mucus, then I can’t hear a thing. I drive myself and others absolutely crazy, I even think the dog was afraid of me, not my usual voice. Ok, I am a wimp, but I learned my lesson at 45 years old and a weakened immune system, I can no longer skip the “flu shot.” I am reasonably logic, (don’t get my hubby’s - Stone Sr.’s opinion)

The best part of last week was that it did not come with electrical pains on the left side of my body or loss of the use of my left hand and so for that I am extremely grateful.

I usually use Clorox wipes to clean up everything and had many years no cold no flu – okay two full years – no cold, no flu… But last week a Mah Johg Ill wind hit me and literally knocked me over and I could not get up… last Wednesday nite I was willing to call the Hemlock Society. I now know that I am both a Wench and a Wimp. And I gotta tell ya, I now understand how folks could die from the flu, they give up and say to themselves, well it just ain’t worth this.

Here is another weird thing I was thinking, being sick is expensive and so here was the COST of grossness last week:
40 hours sick leave,
3 boxes of puffs Kleenex,
3 –6 containers of Clorox Wipes,
1 full box of Day Quil,
1 24 count bottle of excederin,
10 - 5 mg. Ambien
3 packs of “Mr. Whipple” toilet paper, and
finally, 1 five day pack of Zithromax… the miracle that at least cleared my head

So I have decided that I am going to get a tattoo. This tattoo will be put in the middle of my chest. It will be my final instructions, do not resusitate: DnR. This tattoo is gonna be large, okay, it will be in big azz letters, I mean HUGE, Oz Handicraft Font, bold. Here is what is really funny, I can’t spell the word. It will read: Do not resusitate! Let me go in peace…


Blogger Sheila Hudson said...

Oh Patty, so sorry you were down. Sounds real, real bad, hope you bounce back completly. You made it sound real funny- that must mean you are back among the living.
I've never heard of central nervous disease but from what you indicate it sounds bad too.
Here's hoping this week is much better!

Tuesday, February 15, 2005  

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